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A new day in a new life

It's been a long time coming, and I've had to endure a lot of hardships to get where I am today. My life for the past few years has been a roller coaster of emotions, from euphoric joy to utter dismal depression. All along this journey, I've had several close friends and my wonderful children who have given me unconditional love and support for everything that I've gone through.

I've decided to finally come clean with the matter that has come to the forefront of my life and represents a turning point in my journey known as life.

Some time ago, I was diagnosed with Gender Identity Dysphoria. In layman's terms, I'm a woman trapped in a man's body. I've been living in denial for most of my life, trying to fit into what society deems fit for someone with a male body. People who know me personally would say I'm weird, kind, compassionate and not like most other men. They were right. I'm not like most other men. My heart isn't of a man; it never was.

As part of my treatment for my disorder, I've made the decision to live my life as the gender I identify with. I've already taken the steps needed and am both excited and terrified about what lies ahead for me. As of late, everyone I know with the exception of the woman I love and had been married to for 14 years has been supportive, understanding and accepting of who I really am. I didn't choose to want to be a woman. I was always a woman and that's what I wish to remain for the rest of my life.

Some of my friends, whom I haven't seen for years, will probably be very surprised at how I look, even now. But I feel much more confident in myself, I love how I look and am anxiously awaiting the day I shed my male disguise and former identity for good.

Many of my close friends and readers of my fanfiction already know about my true identity. For those of you for whom I hadn't disclosed this personally; please don't take offense. I'm only human.

My name is Rebecca Ann Heineman and I'm a transgendered woman. I'm glad to make your acquaintance.

"Burger" Becky Heineman
Software Engineer III
Electronic Arts Los Angeles


( 50 comments — Leave a comment )
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Mar. 29th, 2005 10:05 am (UTC)
wellcome to the world of femininity mate! ^_^

see? even Sailor Luna welcomes you! ^_^
Mar. 29th, 2005 04:39 pm (UTC)
well, this Does make more sense, I was wondering why you were using the nick burger becky sometimes.

i hope youll find happiness
Mar. 29th, 2005 06:54 pm (UTC)
Congratulations, you have picked a hard lifestyle, but knowing what you are, and who you are, is more than what most people can ever figure out.
The only caution I can say is that I hope it isn't a reaction to your recent breakup. If you felt this way all along, then great.If you feel this way because you are depressed than think about it for a while and make the decisions later. I think just about everyone wishes you the best.You have a wealth of friends that you may never meet...
Mar. 29th, 2005 07:13 pm (UTC)
I hope it works out for you....
If it makes you happy, go for it, and don't worry about anybody who tries to carp at you for it.

Be well, be happy, and don't let the bastards grind you down.


Mar. 29th, 2005 07:46 pm (UTC)
Few people have the courage to face such a difficult truth about themselves and even fewer will actually act upon it. Your bravery is commendable and will set a positive example to others in your situation.

おめでとうございます、ベキ-ちゃん。 おだいじに と がんばってください!!

Mar. 30th, 2005 08:35 pm (UTC)
Mar. 29th, 2005 08:13 pm (UTC)
Just so you know, you have the support of the Temple (http://www.fukufics.com/viewtopic.php?p=25384). Gender dysphoria is a tough thing to deal with, and the fact that you've chosen decisively on the matter speaks greatly. I wish you the best, and hope that you enjoy your new life.

Best wishes,
Mar. 29th, 2005 10:38 pm (UTC)
You Go Girl !!!!!!

Hi Becky,

I think it is great that you can finally come to accept your true self!!! You have many friends and I hope you the best.

Mar. 29th, 2005 11:58 pm (UTC)
There is no shame in admitting what you feel and who you are. I wish you the best of luck on your way of life! :)
Mar. 30th, 2005 08:52 am (UTC)
It takes a lot of guts to make this announcemt publically

I have nothing but admiration for that

I wish you all the best for the future and hope this helps you find the happiness that seems to hav been lacking in your life (from reading your LJ)

Mar. 30th, 2005 09:46 am (UTC)
I can't say I've posted much in your LJ, if at all actually. I've read quite a bit of your fic though, and my boyfriend posts quite a bit (Calseris).
Now I have something approximating a computer and good internet access, I'm likely to be reading your LJ a lot more, and joining the Temple.

I'm glad you've discovered what will fulfill your life.
Life is nothing if we live it only in suffering.

Good luck with everything!

Mar. 30th, 2005 12:49 pm (UTC)
Good for you. Behind you all the way, and congratulations for pursuing your needs!
Mar. 30th, 2005 07:37 pm (UTC)
Maybe she sees it as her failing?
Your wife may feel it reflects badly on her as a woman, and it has nothing to do with what is actually the case...or she may fear her friends would see things that way. If my husband left me for another man I would feel I was at fault in some way. It is a kick in the teeth so to speak, you almost expect infidelity, but to go so far as to change genders could really hurt a spouse. So don't take her lack of support to hard, she is probably terribly confused on this. I am not accusing you of infidelity, more like she could expect that behavior than what is going on. My cousin went thru this same thing about 25 years ago when it was a lot less excepted. He/ later she had 5 kids that ended up refusing to speak to him, for some reason, his wife took it in stride. My cousin ended up concealing his past sex from everyone, and moved to AZ, where no one would know it.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
Mar. 30th, 2005 09:58 pm (UTC)
It's a tough decision, you've obviously struggled with this one a long time. Contratulations on the hard choice. I sympathize, and am a bit envious.

Hmmm, and now I know why your stories resonated so well with me. Good luck on the transition.

Mar. 31st, 2005 01:37 am (UTC)
It took a lot of courage to make such an announcement and I respect you for it, I've been wondering about the nick change to Burger Becky but seeing this journal entry I now know. Don't feel too bad about the lack of support from your spouse, it may of hurt her for you to make that decision but in time she'll eventually accept it. If not she'll eventually move on and hopefully find happiness. It's good that you have the support and love of many people to help you and I hope you're happy with your choice. Hope to be reading your fan fictions again and good luck with your new life.
Mar. 31st, 2005 04:02 am (UTC)
No wonder you are a Ranma 1/2 fan. Well, I wish I could send you some spring of drowned girl Jusenkyo water and something to lock your curse with, but sadly, I'm not the Jusenkyo guide and have never really seen any evidence that magic is real in the first place. (although stories about magical stuff is popular enough for me to belive there MAY be such thing)

I hope your recent choices and realizations don't hurt you and those around you too much and that you have a good life ahead of you. Can't say I understand what you are going through, but I can say I liked your Sailor Ranko writings and appreciate your involvement in porting EV: NOVA to PC.

I think that your stories of Sailor Ranko are one of the things that has recently inspiried me to take up writing more seriously myslef as I am considering becoming an English major and becoming a fiction writer and school teacher. For that I think you.
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